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RemedyBlox Risk-Based Training & Situational Risk Management Services
ARTICLES & RESOURCES ABOUT DOMESTIC ABUSE / IPV
Featuring Helpful Articles & Resources About Domestic Abuse & Intimate Partner Violence
Our articles and featured other online resources are organized into the following Core Program Categories for easy referral:
- Abusive Personality Types & Traits
- Domestic Abuse Stereotypes & Biases
- The Spectrum of Domestic Abuse
- Recognizing the Warning Signs
- The Perils of Staying
- Additional Resources Available to Survivors of Domestic Abuse
ATTITUDES & BELIEFS
great analogy why some shoes are like abusive relationships
great analogy why some shoes are like abusive relationships
great analogy why some shoes are like abusive relationships
Exploring the Mind of Abusive Partners
great analogy why some shoes are like abusive relationships
great analogy why some shoes are like abusive relationships
Abusive Personality Types and what makes them "TICK"
Although every abuser is different, their core attitudes & beliefs are similar:
- They don’t respect their partners or consider them to be equals.
- They believe their partner is a possession/rightfully owned property.
- They are entitled and feel privileged.
- They have little regard for the impact their behavior has on others.
- They thrive on power & control.
To learn more about the mind processes of abusive partners CLICK on TAB Below
RECOGNIZING MALE VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC ABUSE
Domestic Abuse Has No Gender Restrictions: Men Also Endure Intimate Partner Violence
At RemedyBlox we recognize the dark shadow of domestic violence against men
According to Canada's 2016 Police Crime Report Data it was revealed that when Intimate Partner Violence happens it is most often identified by the assailant's gender that used a weapon to assault their intimate partner.
This data lends proof that women are more likely to be assaulted, seriously injured or killed by their male intimate partner or spouse during or after the end of the relationship where a weapon or brute physical force is used against them. However, domestic assaults like emotional, psychological and physical abuse where a weapon was not used, or as it pertains to incidence of financial exploitation and/or sexual assaults perpetrated on men by their female or same sex partner - are not captured properly in this data.
Instead, these types of domestic assault incidence against male victims by their female (or same sex) partner/spouse continue to be under represented in crime data reports including in the main stream media due to the unfortunate gender bias where the woman still continues to be perceived as the "weaker sex",
So when a female abuser of a smaller stature proceeds to physically assaults her male partner/spouse who is much bigger and physically stronger than she is - the likelihood of the man being believed by the police or others will be low. Especially if the woman fabricates the assault incident and proceeds to claim self-defense. Where unless the male victim has supporting evidence to the contrary - the likelihood of him being believed is unlikely where he can run the risk of being charged and arrested alone or along with his abusive partner.
Many male victims of Intimate Partner Violence (IPV ) are equally reluctant to tell their family, friends or coworkers that they are being abused or assaulted by their female or same sex partner out of fear that they again will not be believed and/or even have their manhood brought into question. Each of which revictimizes the male victim further and leads many to remain silent and to suffer in solitude.
Unfortunately, their silence further promotes reluctance of other male IPV victims to come forward as they too believe they are the only ones going through such an ordeal. Many might even blame themselves in part, while others fear not being believed or worse be blamed for the assault in a society that ignores their plight.
For example: Crime statistics already reveal that approximately 21% of all Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) assaults are committed against men by their female intimate partners. However, this figure does not capture the dark shadow of actual incidence of domestic violence perpetrated against men by their female/same sex partner/spouse.
Lastly, victim support services for male Domestic Abuse survivors are limited at best in North America and Europe if compared to what is available to women survivors of IPV. This lack of support and lack of shelters dedicated to male victimized by their partner/spouse forces many to feel lost and defenseless in a sociaty that ignores their plight.
Fortunately there are some brave souls that have taken the needed steps to provide abused men the needed supports, access to resources including temporary refuge. The following are just a couple of examples - where more work and public awareness is definitely needed to afford male IPV victims with equal access to victim support services, added legal protections and courage to break free from the cycle of domestic abuse. In Canada - The Canadian Association for Equality has succeeded in its Campaign to Establish the Canadian Centre for Men and Families - Toronto’s first “Men’s Centre” that will be opening in April 2021.
There are also several online support services for men looking for assistance on their domestic situation and options available to protect themselves and also their children from the abusive partner.
To access the men's help guide CLICK on TAB below.
HOW TO TELL YOU ARE IN AN EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP
EMOTIONAL ABUSE SELF-ASSESSMENT CHECKLIST
Emotional abuse can be generally defined as using manipulation, fear, intimidation and guilt (among other things) to control someone and undermine their self-confidence and sense of autonomy. The reason it causes so much confusion is because it can be subtle, elusive and insidious. Individuals subjected to this form of covert abuse often don’t realize it is happening, no matter how smart, capable or self-aware they are. It is also common for many to start doubting themselves - especially when they are deeply vested into the relationship. Often the abused partner will also feel reluctant to attribute this form of abuse as being perpetrated by their partner / spouse as that shatters the image of the person whom they fell in love with and also brings their relationship into question.
The following checklist has been compiled to help identify if one is dealing with an emotionally abusive partner so as to help identify the problem as well as validate past painful emotional reactions one has experienced.
When answering the following questions - please reflect on your current relationship and ask yourself the following... Does your partner do the following?
- Disrespects you and/or those whom you hold dear
- Is constantly putting you down
- Makes you feel you cannot do or say anything right
- Makes everything your fault
- Humiliates and talks down to you in private
- Embarrasses or berates you in front of others (e.g., family, friends, coworkers, etc.)
- Blames and shames you for mistakes they did
- Refuses to accept responsibility for own actions
- Is overly critical of how you look, act and behave
- Dislikes your wardrobe and insists you wear what they deem appropriate
- Gives you cold-shoulder / silent treatment when you speak up or stand up for yourself
- Ignores you and your needs
- Excludes you and treats you as a second thought
- Runs late to ruin a gathering or social event
- Refuses to respect your boundaries
- Betrays your confidence to make you look bad in front of family and friends
- Does or says things that you told them are upsetting to you
- Shows indifference to your needs
- Exploits your weaknesses / fears to upset you
- Buys you things that you expressed a dislike for
- Sends you mixed signals and then blames you for any misunderstanding
- Uses jokes and sarcasm to put you down under the guise of humor
- Is unpredictable in their behavior
- Their mood suddenly changes for no reason
- Readily flies off the handle over trivial matters but makes light of significant things important to you
- You find yourself walking on eggshells around them
- Exploits your emotions and boundaries by saying: "If you loved me you would do this for me"
- Uses withdrawal of affection
- Threatens self-harm or harming others you care about to get what they want
- Places conditions on their love for you (e.g., Says I love you but......")
- Is controlling and dominant
- Controls finances and limits what you can spend and cannot buy
- Demands you ask for their permission
- Destroys, throws away or ruins things you bought without their prior approval or permission
- Acts jealous and accuses you of infidelity
- Flirts with others shamelessly to make you jealous
- Compares you to their exes to make you feel inept and insecure
- Leads you to believe they are with you out of pity and that they can be with someone better than you
- Gaslights you to get an emotional reaction
- Has extramarital affairs and when caught will blame you for being inept to satisfy them sexually
- Behaves provocatively and sexually inappropriate with others
- Exhibits unreasonable jealousy
- Constantly calls or texts you when you go somewhere without them
- Isolates you socially from friends and family
If you answered "YES" to some, a few or most of the above questions - you owe it to yourself to evaluate your relationship closer because the above snippets of emotional abuse when perpetrated against an individual over time and with increased frequency and intensity will create a psychological fire storm that can lead to the development of PTSD and other debilitating psychological and physiological conditions.
EMOTIONAL PARTNER ABUSE
13 WAYS EMOTIONAL ABUSE MANIFESTS OVER TIME
Emotional abuse in an intimate relationship is psychologically and emotionally harmful. This form of abuse is often lasting and much harder and longer to recover from - if one is fortunate to make such a claim. Especially since many are left with lasting effects including PTSD, being triggered in the future by recollections and comparisons to memories of past abuse. It erodes one's self-confidence, destroys their self-worth, impacts their body and even gets one to question their own sanity
The following article lists 13 ways abusers carry out Emotional Assaults against their partner and how to recognize this tactic to safeguard against its intended harms.
1. Devaluation
Abusers tend to posses Narcissistic traits where they know that their next love interest will not just automatically drop to their knees and fall madly in love with someone as abusive and cruel as they are. So to bait their next victim into a relationship they use a well crafted technique often referred to as "Love-Bombing".
First, the abuser typically identifies a prospective partner based on perceived weaknesses that they want to exploit. To lure that person in - they appear smitten, overly interested and invested and they portray themselves as kind-hearted and ever so understanding. Basically they will act like you are the most amazing person they’ve ever met. They will pull out all the stops to make you feel special and equally grateful that your paths have crossed with theirs.
However, once you start to become emotionally attached to them and hooked on their charm - they will start devalue you and exploit vulnerabilities that they have picked up on after putting into specific uncomfortable situations to garner a reaction they can assess, as well as from having prodded and urged you to disclose past painful events or difficult situations they can use against you.
The devaluation often starts with a random comment that puts you down, or they blame you for things you haven’t done. Slowly they will also start to plant seeds of doubt where you become unsure about your looks, your own character and even start to question your own sanity. After all how could someone who was so kind and affectionate be so cruel or insensitive..."IT MUST BE ME NOT THEM".. is the inner dialogue that creeps up for many victims.
2. Put-Down of Others
This is a warning sign. Abusive individuals readily disclose to their new partner all the terrible things that their exes did to them. They will tend to only speak disparagingly about their exes to their new partner. This serves as a building block for future emotional abuse as the new partner will first feel relieved that they are nothing like their ex. This creates hope that their relationship will surely last.
However, most abusers will subtly start to compare their new partner to their ex. The abuser relies on this tactic to get their new partner to act in a way that they expect them to so as to avoid being cast in the same negative light. After all the last thing anyone wants to hear is being told "You are just like my ex."
You also need to realize that regardless of what you do or don't do - once your relationship is over your abusers will depict you in the same negative way to their next conquest.
So best to analyze and determine for yourself if what your new partner tells you about their ex is an accurate representation of their character or truly justified.
For example: If the abuser claims that their ex was a jealous type who created horrible arguments after they returned home from going out with friends. Ask yourself "WHY DID YOUR EX REACT LIKE THAT?" Was it perhaps because your partner stayed out later than they said they would - which ruined plans their ex made for both of them to go out together that same evening? Was it because going out with friends resulted in them getting drunk and driving home impaired again after they promised they would not do that? Was it because going out with friends entailed all of them going out to a strip club where backroom sex trysts were purchased?"
To read the remaining ways how emotional abuse is carried out by abusive partners - please CLICK on TAB below.
ILLUSTRATION OF YELLOW & RED FLAGS OF ABUSE
15 BAD REASONS TO STAY WITH AN ABUSIVE PARTNER
More Articles & Resources Coming Soon!
Check Back Often!
We regularly update this page with new articles and resources to provide latest information and best safeguards against Domestic Abuse.
If you have any questions or suggestions to enhance our resource content page please contact us to discuss.
REMEDYBLOX ONLINE SUPPORT FORUMS
Join Our RemedyBlox' On-Line Support Group for Those Affected by Domestic Violence or Victims of Abusive Relationships
In Febryary 2019 - we created this private & confidential group on Facebook for both men and women who are struggling with a particular difficult relationship with someone they know or are involved with (e.g., intimate partner, family member, neighbor, someone at work, etc..) who is causing them some form of undue hardship or being abusive.
This group is a closed group to offer all members the value of posting openly about their personal ordeal for the benefit of gaining added insights and support from feloow members who have gone through or are going through a similar abusive relationship. Insights and information shared in this group is intended to help members learn not just how to survive but how to thrive after gaining their freedom from their abuser that was physically, emotionally, mentally, sexually and/or financially abusive or who is refusing to leave them alone after the relationship ended.
The administrator of this group is is Remedy Max (founder of RemedyBlox) where in addition to moderating the group activities she offers emotional support as well as identifying critical patterns in destructive behaviors, how to recognize toxic relationships so members can identify and validate their experiences. She also shares practical tools to help group members mitigate against future risks and harms while instilling self-confidence and empowerment to alleviate real and perceived fears that can prevent some from making the necessary changes in their lives.
Group members also have access to many helpful risk-mitigation and recovery resources to help them break the cycle of abuse and reclaim their personal power and self-confidence so they can enter healthy and safe future relationships.
To join our group - CLICK on TAB below.
Other Support & Prevention Platforms We Endorse
Facebook and many other social media platforms offer confidential and private support group forums to survivors of domestic abuse / intimate partner violence where members who are or have gone through domestic violence can lend one another support. The ability to disclose and share one's personal experiences offers immense therapeutic value as it starts the process of validating one's personal experiences and the individual no longer feels alone or that they are the only one going through such an ordeal.
By connecting with others who have gone through similar experiences and their account of success stories after they left an abusive partner is also empowering and affords others with needed inspiration and renewed hope that there is a better life waiting for them to explore once they make the brave decision to start anew.
CONFIDENTIAL ONLINE SUPPORT GROUPS FOR CONSIDERATION:
- Domestic Violence Awareness: A private online support forum for domestic violence survivors that brings insights, support and opportunity for healing to its more than 2.5K members
- Domestic Violence Awareness - Fight to End Domestic Violence: An online group of almost 14K members designed to bring together people who want to learn about Domestic Violence and for people who have been in a physically or mentally abusive relationship. This group appreciates the value that comes from offering people to talk about their ordeal with others who have gone through similar and truly understand the scope and turmoil this form of abuse creates.
- Domestic Violence Survivors: An online private group comprised of over 12.5K women and men who have experienced domestic violence in their lives and are looking for extra support to get threw the ordeal they experienced by their abusive / violent intimate partner.
- Sister 2 Sister A Safe Space to Talk:A private online forum open to women only to provide them with a safe space to speak in confidence about their domestic abuse experiences. Members gain access to resources as well as emotional support from others who have or are going through similar challenges.
- S.O.D.A (Survivors of Domestic Abuse): An online support group that offers support to women that are domestic abuse survivors or who are in domestic abuse relationships.
- Domestic Violence & Emotional Abuse Support Group: This group is for anyone that has been a victim/survivor of domestic violence (regardless of form), anyone who wants to find out more about domestic violence and for perpetrators of domestic violence who’d like to change their ways.
COMMUNITY OUTREACH SERVICES & VALUABLE RESOURCES
Domestic Abuse Support & Prevention Agencies
If you believe your partner is being abusive towards you are feeling overwhelmed in your relationship then consider reaching out to the following agencies for help:
CANADA:
- THE NATIONAL COALITION AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE'S VISION (NCADV)
- ShelterSafe.ca (List of Women Shelters Across Canada)
- Government of Canada - Safety Plan for Victims of Domestic Violence
USA:
- National Institute of Justice
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
- Office on Women's Health
- National Domestic Violence HotlineAdvocates are also available to chat 24/7 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)
- National Center for Victims of Crime 1-855-4-VICTIM (1-855-484-2846)
- National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)
- National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
- National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline 1-866-331-9474 1-866-331-8453 (TTY)
- National Victims of Crime Hotline 1-855-4-VICTIM (855-484-2846)
If you feel you are in danger and at risk of being seriously physically injured or worse by your intimate partner please call 911 for police assistance.
Additional Online Domestic Abuse Prevention Resources
Resources, Continuing Education, and Training Webinars for Social Workers & Those Looking for Added Information:
- Keeping survivors safe & healthy: VAW shelters’ responses to COVID-19
- Protecting children from abuse in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic.
- Assessing Danger in Abusive Relationships: An Overview of Intimate Partner Violence and Risk Factors for Lethality
- Reducing Vulnerabilities and Promoting Resilience in Children and Youth Exposed to Intimate Partner Violence (IPV)
- Effective Workplace Response to Intimate Partner Violence
- Understanding the Impact of Intimate Partner Violence on Children and Youth: Implications for Relationship-based Intervention
- What supports are available for diverse older women who experience intimate partner violence?
- Religion and Intimate Partner Violence
- Technology and Family Violence
To view additional resources and links to services for survivors of Domestic Abuse and Intimate Partner Violence please visit our RESOURCE HUB for more information - CLICK on TAB below.
LOOKING FOR ADDITIONAL RESOURCS about Domestic Abuse?
Explore our "BOOK NOOK"
We have compiled a list of well written books to help survivors of domestic abuse gain the needed insights and tools to help mitigate their risks and reclaim their life from an abusive intimate partner.
Just CLICK on TAB below to proceed to our BOOK NOOK page to see list of current and earlier titles that many have found of great value to their healing journey and to start anew.
Interested in More Learning Opportunities?
We will be featuring new online course programs on Udemy about domestic abuse and intimate partner violence prevention to empower participants with knowledge and options to better protect themselves against abusive and toxic partners with new found confidence.
To see the list of upcoming online course topics on this subject - please CLICK on TAB.
Do You Need Advice or Support Right Now?
We are here to listen and to offer you with confidential support and strategic insights to help you stay safe and access resources to get you through your current situation with an abusive partner.
CONFIDENTIAL SUPPORT PLATFORMS OFFERED:
- The BUDDY LINE - a telephone support hotline where you can speak to one of our subject matter experts like Remedy Max in confidence about your domestic situation. To schedule a session please visit our BUDDY LINE page for more information about how to use this service.
- We also offer private and confidential consultations to survivors of domestic abuse. Please email us directly to schedule a confidential session.
To learn more about our subject matter expertise in the field of domestic abuse prevention and the ways we help survivors recover from intimate partner violence - please CLICK on TAB below.
Public Presentations to Create Public Awareness About Domestic Violence Prevention
We offer various public presentations at community events and public forums for members of the general public as well as for special interest agency groups to promote greater public awareness about domestic abuse and intimate partner prevention.
The purpose of these public educational platforms is to open the dialogue to dispel common misconceptions about domestic abuse - including bringing to the forefront how men can be abused by their partners only to be often revictimized when they attempt to report their abuser or when they disclose their ordeal to others.
Through our presentations we help audiences to readily recognize the Yellow & Red Flags of an abusive partner and how to mitigate their risk exposures to safeguard their personal safety and mental health. We also address how survivors of domestic abuse are at a higher risk of developing a serious behavior addiction or substance abuse and how to mitigate against this risk exposure.
Examples of Some Public Presentation Topics Offered to Members of the General Public:
- Don't Ignore the Subtle Signs: Recognizing the Yellow Flags of Abuse
- Honeymoon Roses & Bittersweet Chocolates: The Lures & Ploys Abusers Use
- In the Shadows: Shining Light on Male Victims of Intimate Partner Violence
- Same Song Different Dance: Dire Impact of Domestic Emotional / Mental Abuse
To learn more about the host of public event presentations our subject matter experts well versed in domestic abuse prevention and addiction recovery can deliver at your public event - please CLICK on TAB below.
DON'T FORGET TO EXPLORE OUR RESOURCE HUB!
Looking for more Articles, Topical Books, Videos, Webinar links and access to additional Online Resources regarding Domestic Abuse / Intimate Partner Violence Prevention or other risk based exposures?
Then visit our RESOURCE HUB where we have listed additional valuable information on this topic as well as on the following other risk-based categories:
ADDICTION / RECOVERY
- Behavior Addictions & Recovery Programs
- Substance Abuse & Recovery Programs
DISABILITY & DIVERSITY
- Accommodation & Accessibility
- Diversity & Inclusion
- Youth Disability & Diversity Awareness
- Emergency Preparedness Guide for People with Disabilities & Special Needs (Publication)
EMERGENCY MANAGEMENT
- COVID-19 Pandemic Risk Mitigation
- Business Continuity Planning (BCP)
MENTAL HEALTH & PHYSICAL WELLNESS
- Scents & Sensitivities / Allergen Awareness & Accommodation
- Workplace Health & Safety
- PTSD / Trauma Recovery
PERSONAL SAFETY & SECURITY
- Child Safety & Security
- Domestic Abuse / Intimate Partner Violence (IPV)
- Elder Abuse
- Home safety & Security / Crime Prevention Through Environmental Design (CPTED)
SOCIAL RISK MITIGATION
- Deviant Human Behaviors & Personality Disorders (e.g., Narcissism, Sociopathy, Psychopathy)
- Stalker Survival
- Toxic People
- Unhealthy Relationships
CLICK on TAB below to start your learning experience!
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